grubbiness

Ive been wondering for a while how to convey the grubbiness of living here... everything has a layer of dust- varied only by depth... and moisture content. At the end of a day I can roll the dirt- sunscreen mix off my face. my work-shirt collars don't come clean anymore and my feet? - you'd be forgiven for thinking they get washed once a week- not the twice daily ritual of soaping and scrubbing they endure. I can't tell the difference between tan and in-grained dirt anymore!

Anyways, last night, 3 of us ladies (all well groomed individuals in Australia I might add!) were discussing the state of our feet and I decided it was time to blog it.

i call it: 'grubbiness a la africa'

I have so much to write about- farmer training, weekend retreat, political rally's and preparations for religious celebrations...but Im too tired today. I woke up witha cold and am now (10am ) heading back to bed. til next time!

Friday

I slept appallingly (sp?!) Thursday night and decided at 3.30am that I wasn't going to get up at 4.50 as planned to be at the farm by 6am. My commitment to the farm is 3 days a week. I had met that commitment and didn't think it wise to drive more hours than I'd slept. So...I got up at 5.40 to tell the farm manager I wasn't coming and slept wonderfully til 7am. I spent the morning baking bread, working on my draft Farm Plan Report and chatting to Mama A- the lady who cleans our house 3 mornings a week. I had taken her to visit her daughter in the village yesterday on my way to the farm and visited her home here in town which was nice. She is such a sweet old lady and very patient with my ciYawo and my wanderings through the house while she's trying to clean it!

A colleague came over for lunch (smelt the bread?! :) and it was a great few hours discussing and sharing how life here has impacted us so deeply. What will we do when we go back to Australia? We've changed and we won't fit our old lives any more. To be honest, the future looks lonely and uncertain. Neither of us regret coming here and being a part of this world for a short time- its a privilege. But when we consider the future we've both started to realise that the cost is possibly greater than we ever imagined. I suspect the benefit is going to be greater than we ever imagined too. The sheer scale of God's plans always amaze me and he's been good and faithful til now so I really have no reason to doubt his faithfulness in the future!
There is a song by Sara Groves called 'Painting pictures of Egypt' that I think captures the feeling well. The chorus says "I've been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacked, cos the future feels so hard and I wanna go back, but the places that used to hold me cannot
hold the things I've learned- those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned...'

After that I had a 2 hour language lesson. Although my teacher was quite despondant the other day about how much vocab I've forgotten :( I would like to point out (in my defense) that I am now much better at using the vocab I DO have in an understandable sentence structure. I can also distinguish words and process them when different people are speaking now MUCH faster than before-so Im understanding alot more of waht is going on around me, even if I am slow to form sentences in response. Either way, whether Im doing better or not- we're both working harder at my language which a good outcome :)

After language I collected all the veggies in our veggie patch that were ready (about 20 tomatoes and 20 capsicums) and decided we really needed to eat a lot of capsicum for dinner! SO we had fish, steamed veggies and indianish stuffed capsicums. The recipe was so yummy I've put the link in for you. The only thing I did different was add a tiny bit of liquid to each capsicum after stuffing it so the masala mix didn't fall out.
http://fooddownunder.com/cgi-bin/recipe.cgi?r=248791

After dinner we watched one of my favourite movies- 'Japanese Story'. Normally it is the storyline that hits me the hardest, but I have to admit I felt terrbily homesick watching the scenery and felt a bit teary during the 'Perth International Airport' scene (!!!) remembering my own departure from those bleak gates. I lent it to a South African friend last week and I heard (via the rumour mill) that he loved it so much he edited out a few scenes and showed it to his village friends?! I wonder how it interacted with their world view? How would they interpret it? He's coming 'round for dinner tonight so I'll have to ask him how it went.

A Week in my Life - Wednesday & Thursday... the following week

Hmm, didn't keep to the 'everyday' thing too well did I? well- i wrote a long post last Thursday evening- then the power went out and I lost it all...after that I couldn't be bothered. sorry.

This week has been another full one. My life seems to revolve around drains and coming up with new strategies to deal with all the things that challenge my world view on a daily basis.

The drains are coming along well and about 80% to plan- so that's pretty good. The training facility has been halted for a few weeks due to financial issues, but is now progressing again slowly.

The farm manger told me a few weeks back that he has leased one of the adjacent farms (about 2 acres), so I had been watching with interest as his workers raked up all of last years crop residues into windrows. I finally asked if he was going to burn it and was disappointed to hear that yes, he was going to burn it and put himself into debt to continue using inorganic fertiliser this year. I decided to take it as a challenge to make our demo farm SO good that he'll be making his own compost manure within 3 years :). Anyways, on Monday we were working ( I dug a few meters of the drain! ouch!) when I noticed a lot of smoke from alarmingly nearby... As the flames moved rapidly from his farm into the adjacent bushland, my heart was in my mouth! The flames were big and aided by a hot, dry wind it was fast approaching where we were working- but no one else batted an eyelid. The guys kept working and the women continued to relax under a tree (lunch break), only moving when the fire was within meters of them and had enveloped them in smoke. After a while the farm manager had to go off to fight the fire where it was getting too near to some village houses, but didnt seem phased at all - just slightly annoyed that the children had lit in the middle of the afternoon rather than the evening when it was easier to control.

I found the contrast of our culturally learnt responses to fire amazing. 4yr olds play with fire here all the time. The fires lit this time of year burn vast areas- but its seen as a good thing here. If this fire doesn't burn it, the next one will ...

I was feeling really upset and indignant the other day about how I had been treated in a situation. It wasn't right, or fair- but then a local friend visited and gave me the gift of perspective. We discussed her life at the moment- her bicycle that she uses as a taxi business is broken- so she has no income, her sisters have gone to live with their husbands in another village- leaving all their children with the grandmother and eldest sister who are struggling to find enough food to feed them. My friend also suspects that she and her youngest child- who is always sick- need to have an HIV test- but she is terrified of the answer and can't summon the courage to do it. Her husband is dismissive and doesn't want to talk about it. While we were talking her youngest child was constantly crying and whinging with the occasional tantrum. I offered to get her a drink and got her some milk and biscuits whilst thinking to myself that she could probably do with some discipline as well. It was only after the child ravenously devoured the food and sat down with a contented smile to quitely amuse herself that I realised that she had been hungry -really hungry and I wondered when my friends last meal was if it's at the point where there is no food for the kids either... Malawians are opportunistic- and the brazen few will harass you for money in public and make you feel like everyone views you as walking ATM. But Malawians can also be very proud and tend to ask less when they are really in need- that is, until it gets desperate- then they will knock on a rich persons gate and throw themselves on your mercy or calousness as the case may be...

Im still really struggling with the material discrepancy between human beings- all made in Gods image. Poverty- now THAT's not right or fair.

A week in my Life - Tuesday

Thankfully today was a little more orderly than yesterday. Started the day with a lovely time of reading, thinking and praying through Deuteronomy 28-30 in preparation for taking on Micah-the next book in my 'read through the Bible' quest. :)

Whilst munching my porridge I managed to figure out how to download the GPS waypoints myself (very proud) and sent them off to a kind friend to be made into a 'proper' map- then headed into work and spent the morning drafting a funding proposal for the farm (anyone got some spare cash they'd like to see go to a good cause?!) and chatting with a colleague.

Its good having another chick to swap stories and commiserate with. The current 'issue' for me is pay rates. no, not mine :) but another whitey would like to take on my language helper but apparently isn't willing to pay what Im paying- and it's partly my problem because I upped her pay rate from the previous employer -who's doing the advising...so it's all a bit messy. Yes, Im paying more for a few hours than some people get in a day -but just because the economy here doesn't work doesn't mean I have to be stingy. I decided to base what I pay on what it actually costs to live rather than the 'standard' wage. The standard day wage for unskilled labour could currently buy you 1 kg of rice and 2 tomatoes, or 7 eggs- its not even enough for a carton of milk!!! grrr Im SO glad Ive only got 1 persons pay to worry about!

I had salad for lunch- a short lived treat after a visit to the markets in Blantyre on the weekend. lettuce, broccoli mmm, answered a few emails then a short nap :) and back to work to type out a government brochure on how to make compost manure. The brochure was in Chichewa, so I asked a colleague to translate it into ChiYawo... for me to type, format and print for the Farmer Trainings happening...soon. By about 4pm my office felt like a sauna and the girl in the office behind me was taking a nap, so I knocked off early and went and had a cuppa tea with another colleague of mine :) we talked about...how we've changed and what it'll be like to go back to Australia, relationships, life...girl talk :)

Tonight I cooked chambo for dinner- its Lake Malawi's prime fresh water fish- and the best tasting fish ever I think it's safe to say! and, Ive spent the rest of the evening finishing off the documents I was working on today and printing them for tomorrow. Its all one big party here (yawn) g'nite

A week in my life- Monday

Im out of the habit of writing- to everyone. Its not that I don't have time (we always find time for the things we really want to do) and its not that Im so used to everything here now that I have nothing to write and opinionate about. No- not at all. Its that...well, Im not a tourist, just observing any more- Im 'in' it. I think ive been here long enough now to realise that so many things don't have easy explanations...and the tragedies and celebrations happening around me are happening to people I know and care about and it affects me deeply. I find it hard to write about things that matter to my heart. But i also want to share what life is here with you...so im going to do a 'week in the life of me' which'll give you a snapshot and hopefully get me back in the habit :)

SO

Today is the first day of Ramadan, which, in this part of the world has meant an over night swap from the excesses, drumming and wild parties of the Unyago initiation celebrations to pious fasting as outlined by the Quran. Food and drink and sex are banned during daylight hours for the next month. "Fasting is a shield," said the noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) "Whoever spends the month of Ramadan in complete faith and self-rectification, his previous sins will be forgiven."

I've only ever experienced Ramadan and Idul Fitri in Indonesia, so Im not sure what to expect here. In Indonesia I was living with a devout host family. In Indonesia I fasted- but this morning I ate my brekky with thanksgiving and filled several large water bottles in case the farm workers weren't feeling so devout after several hours digging in the hot sun. Then after fuelling up the car I popped into the office for a few minutes to touch base and let the boss know where I was for the day- then off to the farm. Not quite direct though- some friends of mine- an expat couple with a young daughter were moving house up to a town near the farm today, so I stopped by their place, picked up the mother, daughter and a car load of boxes and delivered them to their new place...then I went to the farm.

When I arrived around 10am, the farm manger was lying in the shade and workers had just about finished for the day. They had no qualms slugging back the water. They've progressed really well on the drains distance-wise, but not quite according to design, so I chatted to the farm manager about that for a while and he nodded in agreeance. Im a bit worried cos he has a massive boil on the back of his neck that he's had for 3 days. It looks/is super painful but he was adament about trapesing all over the farm with me to get the last few GPS co-ordinates I need for the map...for the Farm Plan...for the funding proposal etc. "Its my jobo' he said with a grin. It was hot work- the season has definitely changed- its hard to believe a few weeks ago I was wearing a jacket and stockings under my skirt for warmth!

I dropped him home just before 12 and headed to the only resteraunt in the area. Are they serving food? yes- rice and chicken please. A colleague saw my car and came over for a chat. Apparently at the last meeting when the boss had promised the farmer training would happen in September, my colleague had retorted 'this year or next?!'. hehe I guess locals DO feel the same frustration at delayed timelines and empty promises. The training faciltiy is 5 weeks overdue. We're meant to be training 300 farmers in compost manure making and contour ridging- but we have no roof. sigh

After lunch I went to my friends house and played with their daughter and eventually got her to sleep while they unpacked and got on with moving in. Boxes and chaos today, comfortable home tomorrow! I left there around 4 pm and headed down the mountain. Its about a 45 min drive home down a pretty steep, windy road in places. The police pulled me over and wanted a lift to the next town. sure. I think the one in the front seat was trying to see my speedo- but he wasn't wearing his seatbelt so I felt safe with ammo :)

At the next police stop, near Mangochi, the policeman seemed to be just on the verge of asking for a lift when my friend from the village appeared and butted the police man out of the conversation! She attends Islamic school so had her black smock and headscarf on today. I spied 2 other women from the village with their babies behind her so I told her to hop in and informed the policeman I would be turning around now. Their village is only 12 km away- but thats a LONG way when you're lugging a kid on your back- whether you've eaten that day or not! They told me they'd been getting immunisation shots for their kids and visiting another friend from the village who had a baby in hospital today. a little boy, safe and sound. yay! Back at the village I greeted everyone, held a baby etc then headed off. so tired. Unloading my car at home I discovered that one of the kids had peed in the car :-z

got home around 5.30pm, hopped straight in the shower and my house mate cooked pasta for dinner while I finalised my receipts and cash records for August (yawn) then I cooked a cake for desert cos we've got lots of mushy bananas that need using today. cake was good :)

now- its 9.20 and im looking forward to bed! g'nite