another 'Jellybean' adventure

I'm baaaack...with the beginning of another 'Jellybean' adventure.

Yep, I had to book my travel vaccination appointment with a different clinic today because it's been so long since I traveled proper (round the world doesn't really count- cos you can get away with no jabs) that my usual clinic has shut down!  But I'm sure the new place will have jellybeans...surely...

So, I've signed another 2 year contract to follow my dreams, but its not Africa this time- it's central Asia. To be honest the country isn't one I've ever particularly wanted to visit...in fact I've never felt the urge to visit any of the '-istans'.   But the job. Managing food security projects in rural areas, making a real difference in peoples lives, using all this ridiculous privilege I inherited simply by being born- to sit, and listen and learn, and perhaps contribute something- even just an idea - to fan life and hope into flame.  That's where I'm happiest and that is opportunity I am taking.

My mind is full of all the things I need to do and pack and prepare; forms to fill in and tickets to book, end of financial year reporting and project handovers at work, tax...I think longingly of all the books I haven't made time to read.
My senses are full of noticing.  Noticing the way the majestic karri trees reflect the morning sun after rain like streaks of silver.  Noticing my last drive down a certain road, the way my dog gets so excited greeting me every evening...soaking in my planting sites, the sound of frogs, the damp cold air- what will they look like in 2 years?...what will I look like in 2 years? Indulging my every craving. Adrenalin means I can eat everything in sight and still lose weight. I take advantage.
And my heart is full. It is hard to leave, but perhaps harder for those left behind. Some understand, some don't. Some give their blessing with a tear- others ask 'what the f?" I don't like disappointing people. I don't like leaving, but I know when it's time.  I know the danger.  I'm the one trying to think up 'proof of life' questions after dinner.  The danger I will face is soberingly real.  The loneliness that I will face is soberingly real...but the potential!
which is probably why,with 2 weeks to go, I'm in spending my evening in the kitchen, baking chocolate chip cookies- the flavour of my childhood, feeling like a child...
in anticipation...
of the world.