I started packing today. it wasn't one of those things where I said 'i'll start packing on Monday', or even a matter of waking up in the morning thinking it's a good day to pack. Nope, I walked into my office with the intention of clearing off a few surfaces so I could move some furniture around to accommodate friends who are visiting Friday and the next thing I know I'm sorting through every bit of paper in the room. With a growing pile of rubbish around my feet, a 'I want that back in Australia' pile and a 'probably not relevant to Australia- but worth stashing for if I ever come back' pile...there was no denying it. Packing had started.
I STILL HAVE SEVEN WEEKS!!!! ok I'm in denial. it felt like just yesterday I still had three and a half months. At this rate i'll be on the plane by tomorrow.
So then I gave in. I brought a suitcase from the awful new chinese shop in town. It is the first suitcase I've ever purchased. The first suitcase I ever remember using was a brown hardened vinyl thing my grandfather? used to use. Then I graduated to backpacks and the style of travel they suit. Coming here I packed everything into boxes, sent it off, then followed at my own pace, taking the scenic route with my backpack through Madagascar and northern Malawi.
Now I own a suitacase that has wheels and points north. You'd think I'd buy a compass, or an airline ticket rather than a suitcase if I wanted to know which direction I was travelling. But now i can pull up my fancy little handle and drag my suitcase down flights of stairs, twisting my wrist and making a terrible racket like everyone else. It's actually the perfect size to not fit in cabin luggage, but to take it on board anyways and obnoxiously demand that it go in the overhead locker while holding up every single other person on the plane. yup my first suitacase.
Or maybe I could just pack it and give it to my parents to add to their weight allowance and stick with my comfy backpack, held together with safety pins... yup (grin) that spells 'adveture' ! now I'm back in my comfort zone.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Decisions Decisions
I slept 11.5hrs last night! The power went off around 6 so I decided to have a candle-lit soak in the tub (with a good book of course!) and it still wasn't on by 7.30 so I thought...'bed time!'... and then I slept and slept with no alarm. Just glorious!
The last few weeks have been busy. The first few days back from my week at Cape Maclear were an up-hill struggle to get back into the swing of things...but now I'm well and truly in the swing!
I think the cause of both the inertia and the sudden activity was the realisation that I only have 10 weeks left!
10 short weeks to finish up all the farm trainings, write up the training outlines, get the translated agriculture brochures finished, prepare M & E and a development frameworks and a proposal, help out with Lake of Stars music festival the permaculture consortium, keep visiting all my friends...
Sort and pack my stuff, say goodbye to everyone and leave well...
Prepare myself for arriving back in the thick of Australian Christmas commercialism, materialism and excesses. Back to a 'home' that has changed since I left. A 'home' that may or may not fit a sojourner whe's been marked by Africa...
And the looming question "what will I do next?''
It's been food for thought talking to people about how they make decisions for the future.
They've all asked different loaded rhetorical questions-
'Where can your life be of most use? -What does God say?' (misso speaking) ...'and the need is really great here and you've already done 2 years and are well into language and culture acquisition so it makes sense to come back...'
'What's the best career step?' (NGO project manager speaking) ...'and by the way, I've got this position that I can't advertise and I think your skills fit and its PAID...'
'What's best for you?- what is your higher self telling you?' (creator of a permaculture hide-away)
"You need to find a husband" (local Yawo friends). ok- that one wasn't a rhetorical question- but I wouldn't expect that from such a straight-speaking culture!
I think each one has a valid point. I do need to listen to God's leading and prompting, and consider how my skills and abilities can best be used...but I don't want to do a job simply because 'there's a need'. There will always be needs.
Career and some form of income aren't bad things either- unless they become the only determining factors.
Making a decision that is best for 'me' is a new one... and quite appealing once I allow the ideas to blossom.
Family- in all it's senses is also something I long for. Yes, a husband and kids would be nice- but bigger than that- do I know my extended family? have I ever made the conscious effort to get to know them and put aside the time that it takes?
Where does the future lead?
The last few weeks have been busy. The first few days back from my week at Cape Maclear were an up-hill struggle to get back into the swing of things...but now I'm well and truly in the swing!
I think the cause of both the inertia and the sudden activity was the realisation that I only have 10 weeks left!
10 short weeks to finish up all the farm trainings, write up the training outlines, get the translated agriculture brochures finished, prepare M & E and a development frameworks and a proposal, help out with Lake of Stars music festival the permaculture consortium, keep visiting all my friends...
Sort and pack my stuff, say goodbye to everyone and leave well...
Prepare myself for arriving back in the thick of Australian Christmas commercialism, materialism and excesses. Back to a 'home' that has changed since I left. A 'home' that may or may not fit a sojourner whe's been marked by Africa...
And the looming question "what will I do next?''
It's been food for thought talking to people about how they make decisions for the future.
They've all asked different loaded rhetorical questions-
'Where can your life be of most use? -What does God say?' (misso speaking) ...'and the need is really great here and you've already done 2 years and are well into language and culture acquisition so it makes sense to come back...'
'What's the best career step?' (NGO project manager speaking) ...'and by the way, I've got this position that I can't advertise and I think your skills fit and its PAID...'
'What's best for you?- what is your higher self telling you?' (creator of a permaculture hide-away)
"You need to find a husband" (local Yawo friends). ok- that one wasn't a rhetorical question- but I wouldn't expect that from such a straight-speaking culture!
I think each one has a valid point. I do need to listen to God's leading and prompting, and consider how my skills and abilities can best be used...but I don't want to do a job simply because 'there's a need'. There will always be needs.
Career and some form of income aren't bad things either- unless they become the only determining factors.
Making a decision that is best for 'me' is a new one... and quite appealing once I allow the ideas to blossom.
Family- in all it's senses is also something I long for. Yes, a husband and kids would be nice- but bigger than that- do I know my extended family? have I ever made the conscious effort to get to know them and put aside the time that it takes?
Where does the future lead?
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