goodbyes

I have issues with 'goodbyes'. I always have. Ask anyone that knows me - I really don't cope with 'em very well at all. You'd think it'd get easier with practice- or less get wrenchingly painful with age...but for me-nope. The tears still well up and very goodbye is a trauma.

Unfortunately I'm not exactly living in suburbia where people are born, live and die in the same suburb. Nope, the expat community in third word countries are incredibly fluid. Two years is classified as a 'long haul'. Just as you get to know someone they leave.

My house mate left today. A year and a half ago I moved in with a complete stranger. Today I said goodbye to a dear friend. We've laughed together, cried and prayed together, gotten annoyed and tiptoed around each other, shared life, cooking and dishes... and now she's going for a 6 month break back in Australia and by the time she gets back I'll be gone and...and life has moved on.

I want to hold on to it. Let the moments linger. But now they're just echoes in this big empty house.

I think separations and goodbyes are so difficult because other people become a part of our lives- who we are - and when they go- they leave a gaping hole. The only way to make goodbyes easier is to not let people in. But where is the joy in that?! nope- it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I just got a phone call from the farm manger. The man that dug the well at the farm just died a few minutes ago from 'infection'.






goodbye