The psychology of 'lock down'

I've only been here 4 days, but I'm already struggling with the concept of not being allowed 'out'.

For our own safety we have a very short list of 'places we go' that have all passed a rigorous security check, and all our movements are very closely tracked.  Sunday I went for brief trip with a colleague and a driver to one of the Ministries to register my presence in the country. Then yesterday, in anticipation of a potentially inflammatory press conference in the city, the office was closed early, the local staff went home and us foreigners were put on 'lock down'.
For those who have been here a while it meant ordering in pizza and watching a grid iron game.  But
I was horrified. I know our movements are highly restricted, but somehow categorically not being allowed to leave the building made me desperately want to get out even more.  I found some peace on the roof where, under all my layers of material I can look out over the sprawling city and see where the haze blends into the mountain tops. I can watch the kites and the pigeons and people doing what I can not- walking on the streets.

By this evening the press conference hadn't eventuated and some of my colleagues wanted to go to the supermarket, so I excitedly agreed and a few hours later we were off :-) all appropriately dressed, into the car, doors locked, radio check-in to say we are leaving the compound, gates opened, driven out into the street and to the supermarket which really resembled a small 3 storey department store.  No wide, automated doors here- a small door at the side marked 'entrance' takes you to a guard who frisks the men and then you make your way up a narrow flight of stairs to the collection of foreign products above. Im ashamed to say I spent almost $70 on snack food etc - but when every aspect of your life feels controlled by someone else, its nice to know that you have a stash of almonds, or potato chips :-)

The male shop attendant akwardly serves us and we file back out- straight into the waiting vehicle, home via the back streets with a radio check in that we have arrived back.  Hardly a day out BUT Im not complaining.  This is how we stay safe in the city, and I will have much more freedom when I start working rurally.  My mind wanders to how Im going to survive 3 months in winter when we're all locked in this building with meters of snow outside. It really doesn't bear thinking about. I think I'll have some potato chips :-)