Personality types have been a bit of a theme at the moment. I've been reading a bit of stuff about Myers Briggs personality types, but then at the course this week, one of the facilitators came up to me and said- "I've got a book called 'The Introvert Advantage' that you might find interesting". I smiled and took the book and thought...where the heck did that come from? Am I THAT much of an introvert that someone I've met twice is lending me a self help book? Thankfully he was such a genuine person that you couldn't be more than puzzled.
I skim read the book. It said that introversion isn't about whether or not you're shy or like people- it's about where you draw your energy from. If you are energised by being in the thick of the action and interacting with lots of people- then you're an extrovert. Introverts (innies) have a lot less energy in general than extroverts- and really need to pace themselves and have quality time alone to recharge their batteries. It said innies are easily overwhelmed by too much sensory information and when it gets to overload- the brain just blanks out. It said that innies often forget stuff- basic stuff, like what they like to do. Brain blanking can happen when they're put on the spot- just a word lost- or a whole body of knowledge (that they're often experts in) just slips beyond grasp in the hot spotlight of other peoples gaze. Innies tend not to open their mouths unless they think they know what they're talking about- and they probably don't consider themselves to know much at all until they've studied something at far more depth than any normal person would bother. They hate being the centre of attention. They often feel guilty that they don't have the energy or the desire- or even abilty to do the 'group thing' - whether at work or socialising. And they rarely come back with a fast answer- they need time to think about stuff and are likely to re-open yesterdays conversation to say what they couldn't think of saying at the time.
man it made me feel better!!! :)
I remember when I first did the personality test- I got all the letters, looked up the description... and found myself reading all about my Dad. No- that's my dad- not me. Then I did the test again trying to draw my answers from how I would respond in a work situation. Different letter combo- different description. This time I was reading all about my boss. No- that's not me either. Did it again and got straight down the middle. A perfectly balanced human being?! :) really confused?! no just a 'pleaser'.
I've gotten to know myself a lot better in Africa and be ok with it. Take myself less seriously. Accept the facts. The fact is- I did find it a big effort to socialise at the course. 15 new faces were overwhelming and I was quite happy to spend a large number of the breaks in the corner with a cuppa and book. I watched on mildly envious as people formed little cliques - but really enjoyed one on one conversations with people- even if I did forget my words sometimes....
The book also provided much entertainment both to me and my extrovert room mate (for the duration of the course) where it got into relationship advice - starting with tips for how to meet a potential partner. It included gems like 'smile at people in the elevator, do your washing at the laundromat, or take your dog to the dog park' which had my friend in stitches imaginging all these really shy people buying dogs so they can meet someone in a dog park... :)
Thankfully introversion-extroversion is a continuum and I'm hovering just off centre :-p
So- a question for you- the book said 25% of the population are innie and 75% are outie- do you recon that's true? what are you?
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4 comments:
I am definitely an introvert. Social situations tire me out and I need to have time on my own, inside my own head, to recover.
Jeff is an extrovert. When we first got married, he had more "good friends" than I had acquaintances!
In our first years of marriage, and again now he is working as a pastor, we have had to negotiate carefully about our social commitments. Jeff would be happy to have friends over for dinner every night of the week. I get emotionally tired just interacting with our four kids during the day. We have learnt that we work best by my having a veto, where I can say at any time, "I can't take it any more! No more social engagements this week." From then on, Jeff has to stay at home with me or satisfy his need for social interaction outside our home.
With God's help, I'm a lot better able to deal with social situations than I used to be, though.
~ Sharon
Thankyou for this email! I feel so much better now too!!
I too am an introvert although like you, reasonably close to the centre. I had not heard about the brain blanking out stuff before but what a revelation and it makes perfect sense.
These days because of where we find ourselves and what we find ourselves doing, I have much more contact with people and correspondingly, my brain blanks out (in "one word" and much bigger kind of ways) more frequently. I thought I was going to be a contender for early onset alzheimers. But maybe that is not the case.
I feel so much better.
And I loved the hairdo in your post of photos!
Mxx
Oh Sharon- i feel so bad now that we used to just descend on your home for trinity pizza evenings... I'm glad that you can say when enough is enough. Im not at all surprised that you get emotionally tired with 4 kids!
someone made the remark the other day that 'personality types' are self fulfilling prophecies- but I disagree. As you wrote, with Gods help we can acknowledge our preferences- then be willing to move out of the comfort zone!
yay! Im glad I made you feel better Meredith ;-) yeah- at the course I thought there was something wrong with me cos so many times I'd be mid sentence and have to say - 'uumm...sorry, I can't remember the word' But I WAS feeling pretty overwhelmed by the long days and heaps of new people- all in english- which- surprisingly- was also exhausting. I've forgotten what it's like to understand every conversation going on around and have to filter it as background noise!
Anyways- lets vote that the book is right! :)
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